Thinking of buying Hair? Here is a piece from my Inventory, a piece called "Memory." It's part two to "Dust," the last piece in Hair. The Inventory is an inventory of all the things I own, including my hair, my memories, my skin, my kitchen cart, etc. Everything in capital letters has an entry in the Inventory. Only these two pieces are in this format.
I saw them again I didn’t know who they were. The layer of DUST in my MIND was thick. I ran a FINGER through it.
I knew I’d seen them before. I didn’t wonder why they were in my house. I understand what television is still.
They were in the Other Movie We Saw Together, remember? Do you remember.
I didn’t remember. There’s so much stuff to rummage through to access who they are, plastic forks and dead friends and extra soy sauce packets and my end of arguments I have to keep up. I was a little EMBARRASSED. They were trying so hard and the least I could do was remember I saw them the other day.
ACTOR WHO WAS PLAYING THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB WHO WAS ALSO CAPTAIN OF OUR GREAT GENOCIDE PARADE WHO WANTS PIE (IT’S GOT STARS IN IT STARS AND EAGLE FEATHERS AND IT SMELLS LIKE BETSY ROSS’S FRESHLY WASHED HAIR) BUT NOW HE’S ABLE TO MOVE THINGS WITH THE POWER OF HIS MIND BUT ONLY WHEN IT REALLY COUNTS BUT NOT WHEN IT REALLY REALLY COUNTS BUT YEAH WHEN IT REALLY REALLY REALLY COUNTS:
Something. Something something something.
ACTOR WHO WAS PLAYING THE PSYCHIATRIST AND SUN ADDICT (NOW THAT YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT IT DOESN’T MAKE THAT MUCH SENSE—IT DID IN THE OTHER MYTHOLOGY) WELL IN THIS ONE HE CAN MAKE THINGS CHANGE THEIR SHAPE BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY AND ONLY FOR SO LONG IT’S NEVER REALLY CLEAR WHY HE’S SO NEUTERED AND WHY HE CHOOSES TO HANG OUT IN THE SAME DAMN GIRLY BAR BUT HE ISN’T TIPSY NOT ONCE BUT HE ALWAYS HAS A DRINK AND HE’S NEVER SWEATY WHY AREN’T MOVIE DRUNKS BEADING UP I AM SUDDENLY ANGRY BUT IT PASSES LIKE A PISS SHIVER AND I FORGET ABOUT IT:
Something. Something over the phone to you. I am on the phone and saying something. It is urgent and I am reading it from a card taken from a lovely red envelope with gold lettering. You wrote it and then forgot it. It was wiped from your MIND by the Chinky Man With the Long Dirty Opium Addict NAILS Who Speaks Perfect Unaccented English and Who Lives on a Junk Sort of Barge Thingee. He could have been named “Ming the Merciless” and it would have fit. Except no beard, like that makes it okay. Hey, it's a speaking part and at least in this movie not all the colored people die.
ACTOR WHO WAS PLAYING THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB WHO WAS ALSO CAPTAIN JINGOGASM AND NOW HE’S A SAP WHO GETS IT TOGETHER FOR NO REASON:
Something. I have charming good looks. Despite everything, this movie is good and everyone in it knows it.
ACTOR WHO WAS PLAYING THE PSYCHIATRIST WHO WENT CRAZY BUT STILL DID HIS JOB AND YEAH HE WAS WORSHIPPING THE SUN WHY DO YOU PICK HOLES IN EVERYTHING YOU YOU’RE THE REASON THIS PERFECTLY FINE MOVIE DIDN’T GET A SEQUEL:
It is your fault you know. All your fault. Can’t even be bothered to remember my fucking name, you selfish little shit.
Dear Movie People,
I am terribly sorry I did not recognize you in this movie, although I recently saw you in yet another movie that you were in together, the one with the superpeople heroing around.
Please write your names at the end of this letter—I learn them and they aphasiase themselves away, cotton candy upon the tongue. I know something was there and it was your names, Sirs and Madams, and I am sorry for its absence. I think your secret names are the ones that I have been told, all choral whispers and the vibrations of strings to the jelly lizard center of my brain and this is the reason I cannot remember. I will try to do better next time. I will work on my tiny failings.
Please accept this note of apology.
Your names here:
Do you accept this apology? [ ] yes [ ] no [ ] other (please explain) ____________________________________________________________________